Sexuality and wellbeing

Part of your health

Sexuality is not only about sex. It includes desire, pleasure, affection, how you feel in your own body and how you relate to other people. Looking after it is part of looking after your health, just like looking after your sleep or your eating.

Everyone experiences sexuality in their own way, and there is no right way. Sexual orientation, gender identity, wanting sex or not, being in a relationship or on your own: all of it belongs here, with respect. What matters is that you feel good and safe with your choices.

Desire changes, and that is fine

It is common for desire to drop during times of stress, tiredness, sadness or anxiety. A mind busy with worries leaves little room for pleasure. Hormonal changes, pregnancy, the months after giving birth, menopause, illness and ageing itself also affect desire.

Some medicines, such as certain antidepressants, can lower desire or make orgasm harder. If that happens to you, do not stop the medicine on your own. Talk to whoever prescribed it: the dose or timing can often be adjusted, or the medicine changed.

Some people feel little or no sexual desire throughout their lives, and that can simply be who they are. The question that matters is whether it bothers you. If it does not, there is nothing to fix.

Body, self-image and pleasure

How you see your own body matters a lot. Comparing yourself with images from social media or porn tends to bring pressure and insecurity. Try swapping the question "how do I look?" for "what am I feeling right now?". Paying calm attention to sensations helps pleasure show up.

It also helps to take away the pressure of reaching a particular outcome. Touch, affection and closeness are worth something in themselves. When the focus moves from performance to experience, anxiety tends to ease and intimacy feels lighter.

Talking helps

Talking about desire, limits and preferences can feel hard, but it usually brings people closer. Choose a calm moment, outside the bedroom, and speak about yourself: "I have been feeling less desire and I would like to talk about it" works better than pointing fingers.

Consent is the foundation of everything: each person can say yes, say no or change their mind at any moment, and that has to be respected. Protection is part of it too, with condoms and regular check-ups, for you and for the people you are with.

When to see a professional

It is worth getting help if sex is painful, if a difficulty has lasted for months and bothers you, if desire has gone and you miss it, or if sex has become a source of distress or arguments. Gynaecologists, urologists, psychologists and sex therapists deal with these questions without judgement.

If you have experienced violence or feel unsafe in a relationship, get urgent help and the support of people you trust. The help area of the app shows the crisis contacts where you live. You deserve safety and respect.